


I Want to Let Her Go

by emitheorca



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6145093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emitheorca/pseuds/emitheorca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl is still learning how to love after Rose Quartz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want to Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm really glad you stopped by to read my first fanfic! It's Pearlmethyst trash, if you're into that kid of stuff. I have lots of things I want to work on, so if you like what you see, subscribe! Thanks, and enjoy!  
> -Emi

             I practice breathing her presence in and out under the soft white glow of the moonlight, the light in which I have inhaled her love so many times before. I hold my own breath for too long I’ve found, never stopping to experience life like she has.

            She knows how much I miss Rose, dead for years, she doesn’t know if I’m over her yet. Neither do I. She is reluctant, yet open to me. Never committed, she will never love me like I loved Rose. Until I forget about her. And I don’t know if I’m ready.

            We both lay here under soft white moonlight, practicing this thing called love. Something neither of us have known like this.

            I lace my fingers through her long, tangled white hair, brushing it gently with long, pale fingers. I scold her about brushing it, she teases me for my perfectly manicured, strawberry blonde bob, sealed tight with hairspray. Strands escape its hold now, leaving it almost as wild as hers.

            One thing she never talks about is the star-shaped pin on my tank top, only thing Rose left me. Besides her son. He misses Rose. I tell him I do too. I’ll never be his gentle, loving, sensitive mother, no matter how hard I try. I see him do it every day. He only has his father, who sends us cash every Friday to pay his expenses, and hangs out with him on weekends. He tries so hard to love; don’t we all?

            I close my eyes, trying hard to summon the dreams I have every night I manage to sleep.

 

* * *

 

            “May I have this dance?” Rose asks, the curls framing her face drifting softly in the breeze. Her hand is extended towards me. I give her my hand, knowing exactly where it fits in hers. She tightens her grip and pulls me to my feet like I weigh nothing.  She looks down at me; I look up at her. My bare feet hug the sand. The soft fabric of Rose’s gown washes up on my legs, and her hair brushes my arm.

            Rose starts to move her feet, and I move mine with her. We spin around in circles, moonbeams washing over our faces.

            “My Pearl.”                            

 

* * *

 

            “Hey P,” Amethyst is standing in the kitchen, leaning over a plate of leftover apple pie. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sleep so well!” I look at the clock on the oven, and it’s already 8:00. She’s right; I haven’t slept this well in years. The house is perfectly quiet.

            “You probably haven’t,” I laugh with a yawn.

            “Yeah…” Amethyst murmurs, smiling into her pie. “Hey P?”

            “Can we talk about Rose?”

            “Um…” My body tenses up at the mention of her. “Of course, why?”

            “We were pretty close, you know? And I know she really loved you a lot back when you lived in together and stuff. I’m just wondering…” she turns to look at me. “Have you ever gotten over her?” Tears form in my eyes as Amethyst looks at me with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen. I look down and shake my head.

            “She was the first person that ever loved me. I’ve- I’ve really been working hard on letting that go. I just want a healthy relationship now; I want to let her go.” I whimper. I thought Amethyst knew by now, but I guess I haven’t been as vocal as I thought.

            I feel arms wrap around me, her head on my shoulder. I hold her even closer.

            “I miss her too.” 

           


End file.
